By Judy Villanueva

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?   To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.  (Brennan Manning)

Tears spilled and cries for justice erupted as the beloved stuffed moose was kidnapped by  little sister!  The toddler hurried away with a gleam in her eyes and a delighted smile on her face.  Children are so pure in their emotions.  I don’t mean they are sanctified in their expressions of feelings, but they are AUTHENTIC!  If they don’t get the toy they want, they cry.  If they have to go to bed, EVER, they throw themselves on the floor and if Nana sneaks them a chocolate chip cookie, they squeal and promise to love me forever!  Both little people and big hurt one another— wittingly and unwittingly.  On this particular occasion, mom stepped in and instructed little sissy to return Moosey and apologize. “Sooorrreeey” she complied as she handed over the rumpled toy.  To her credit she obeyed  but, to be honest, she didn’t look very sorry.

Can you feel your “sorry” when you apologize?  Saying we are sorry is important to healing in relationships but feeling remorse over the pain we’ve caused is  AS vital to the soul.  Why?

 It has to do with the restorative power of repentance and God’s kindness in providing a way for us to stay free of self-deception and pride.   

This duo tends to be at the root of our unwillingness to let our hearts hurt when we hurt others.   Pride deceives and divides us, internally and externally, and keeps us from the intimacy we were created to enjoy with God and others.  Staying open to the Holy Spirit’s voice of correction may sting but it always leads to  Zoe life— free, genuine, vigorous, and devoted to God.   The alternative is to ignore His nudges and in doing so, gradually lose our sensitivity to the gift of His company and counsel, along with the ability to feel our own hearts.  

Humility helps us to know ourselves as both exceptional and flawed creatures.  “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” (B.Manning)  

Being honest about our brokenness can feel threatening but it is in acknowledging the whole truth about who we are that we break out of a defensive posture  and into one that is liberated and activated to love. 

Feelings are designed to connect us to our hearts and, when we pay attention to them, they  help us discover the places in us that need healing and love, correction and grace.  They are meant to lead us to curiosity, prayer, and an openness to hear from God, even if it is a call to repent.   When it comes to cultivating a soft and pliable heart — one that can feel sorry and repentant, joyful and free — maybe the key to is to become like children.  No, not unrestrained and impulsive  but connected, open and authentically feeling our lives with God.

“Thank you Father for your steadfast love and for all the ways you help me follow my feelings to YOUR heart.  I want to feel my life, sorries included!  I pray that you will touch each person reading this with a true sense of your feelings for them.  Amen.”

How about you?

How free are you when it comes to acknowledging an offense and apologizing?

Can you feel your sorry?  In other words, when you apologize can you feel your heart hurt over hurting another?

How connected are you to your heart?  Do you follow your feelings to curiosity and prayer?

Do you know yourself as deeply loved by Jesus?

Worship