How Long?

IMG_2744By Judy Villanueva

Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” (1Kings 18:21)

OUCH, this hit me right between the eyes!  I am reading a book on the beatitudes and right in the middle of the chapter called “Happy Are The Pure In Heart,” this verse jumped off the page and threw water in my face!  “What?  ME?  Hobbling between two opinions?” But in my heart of hearts, I knew it was true and as I toweled off my face, I reread the words and let them sink in more deeply.  The words felt like a strong correction and at the same time, like the most loving words I’ve ever read.  I think that’s how it often feels when God speaks.  He always tells the truth but with so much love that my heart melts, my knees buckle, and my hands open to receive whatever gift He offers me, even if it’s a correction.  The morning reading became a confrontation and an invitation to stop wavering and decidedly place my life in God’s care.

What are my “two opinions?”  Where am I double-minded?  I confess that I waffle back and forth between trusting God with all my heart and wondering if He heard the prayer I just prayed.  There are days when my feet must dance because the goodness of God has touched me and there are days when I can’t discern the reality of His presence.  So, I hobble along.  Do you hobble, too?  There are many ways to waver between “two opinions.”   It might be living one way on the outside and another on the inside or agreeing with the Word spoken on Sunday morning but determining your own way when you walk out the door.  It may even result from living a life so distracted by many things that there is little room left for the One Thing —WHO is everything.  

“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (Deut. 6:4-5)

Living between two opinions dims our light and dilutes our saltiness, not to mention the fact that it weakens our ability to trust and obey God. 

So, what empowers us when God says, “How long?” to reply, “NO LONGER!  You are God and no other!  I will follow YOU!”?  Because when the moment of truth arrives and we are faced with a decision on who to follow, whatever has been filling our hearts and minds will drive us in one direction or another.  What is establishing Truth inside you? 

I realized after some pondering that only the Word of God can heal my hobble and if I want to follow Him with a singular and faithful heart I must fill my soul with HIS Opinion and leave room for no other!

This evening as I crawled into bed I felt more than anything, LOVED.  Like a father that sees His child struggling, I felt God loving me in my weakness even as He illuminated the state of my doubting heart. He didn’t turn away. He drew near and I’d almost swear I felt His breath on my cheek as He spoke “Try again, my love, and trust Me.  You really can trust Me.”  

What about you? 

Can you feel the tug of war for your heart, mind and strength? 

Do you ever find yourself limping between two opinions?

What is establishing truth inside you?

Saturate yourself with the Word of God and let it fill you.

Worship  *** You’ve got to hear this song!***

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