Category Archives: Spiritual Formation

Holding Offenses

By Judy Villanueva

Colossians 3:13
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Staring at the floor after a long and heated conversation, my husband and I finally agreed on a compromise. We saw a matter very differently but thankfully were able to reach a solution that we each could live with that is, until my back was turned! That’s when he couldn’t help himself and executed a NOT agreed on solution! Errrggh! I would venture to guess that most of the time it’s not the actual offense that mushrooms into a bitter mess, but what happens in the aftermath that tangles up our hearts. My husband sort of apologized and I knew for sure he was sorry that I was upset, but I wasn’t convinced he was sorry for his actions. I confess that what I really wanted was groveling and utter sorrow, but instead I bought a log rocking chair–and it helped!

Nursing grudges. Holding offenses. Keeping a list of wrongs. Why do we feel we are owed a debt when we’ve been wronged or offended? Think about it. When someone doesn’t return a phone call, betrays a confidence, or is careless with our feelings there seems to be an internal tally that accounts for who owes who what. The greater the offense, the greater the debt!

The flesh knows well that it owns these transgressions and, unless there is an exchange made that cancels the debt the offense lives to grow and fester.

The exchange might involve accepting an apology, making retribution (as in the case of the log rocker), or some other kind of not-so-pretty payback. Beware, however, because the flesh is an untrustworthy bookkeeper at war with the things of the Spirit! The numbers may balance, but it will cost you! We must ask ourselves what we want more, evening the score or freedom?

There is only one place to find peace from the offenses we hold, only one exchange that truly sets us free and that is at the foot of the cross! Unless we look up and witness afresh the face of Divine Love dying for us, we fall prey to the notion that we lose something when we forgive. Placing ourselves in daily proximity to Christ on the cross, stretching out our hands to receive His love, and recollecting the outpouring of grace that freed us from our own great debt of sin works to soften and open our hearts to free others.

In the presence of great Love a deposit is received that expands our capacity to relinquish ownership of offenses and exacting of accounts!

As we sit in the lap of Grace, we discover that there is no payback or exchange that compares to belonging to God! His grace is enough.

“Father, keep drawing me to the cross so that I can keep remembering what Your Love did for me. Help me to stand in the flow of Your grace and receive what I don’t deserve. Let Your deposits of love empower my heart to let go of offenses and forgive. Thank You for the cross that freed me! Amen.”

What about you?

Are you holding an offense against anyone?

Do you find it consuming your thoughts and diminishing your joy?

Which do you want more? Evening the score or freedom?

Stand at the foot of cross and look at the lengths God went to free us from our sin. Let it wash over you an fill you with grace for others.

Worship

Raising the Dead

January 15, 2014Knowing God, Spiritual Formation, Worshipheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

John 11:38-44
Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Can you see Jesus standing before the tomb that holds His dear friend? It has been four days. Go there with me…imagine being with Jesus in front of the cave and watch the story unfold! Mary and Martha are there along with others who loved this man and his family. It’s dusty and I can hear the shuffling of feet on the sandy ground. “What did Jesus say? He wants to take the stone away? Why?” Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” I hear these words as if they have traveled over 2000 years and found me typing in my little office. God is speaking to me! I want to believe! I want to see the glory of God! I suddenly realize that some of my stuff is in that tomb! Hopes that have died…prayers that have grown tired…dreams that have been dragged there by long years of waiting.

I look at the tomb that holds the dead…and then, I look at Jesus! He knows. There are tears of love in His eyes and in mine as I feel intimately known and loved. Then, He turns and faces the mouth of the cave and shouts, “Lazarus, come forth!” There is a hush that sweeps across the site and a pressured pause as we all wait with wide-eyed anticipation. Then, we hear it…can it be? Footsteps! All eyes are on the mouth of the cave. Now, watch…don’t miss it! There! A shadow! And now, a dead man raised and walking out of his tomb! Standing at the cave next to the One for whom nothing is impossible, we witness the beauty and wonder of life called forth from death! I fall to the ground in sheer awe and utter amazement! The glory of God is spectacular! I want to dance! I want to cry! My God can do anything!

Almost unwittingly, I find myself peeking around Jesus as He hugs His friend to see if I can catch a glimpse of my stuff. Where is it??? It’s not in the tomb! How can I go from awe to panic in a mili-second? Where’s my dead stuff? Befuddled, I turn scanning for my shattered hopes, my disappointments, fatigued prayers and lifeless dreams. Then Jesus says, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” What on earth? There in front of me is Jesus asking me to believe and inviting me to witness the glory of God! And, to my surprise, held safely in His arms, is all my dead stuff! Jesus holds my pages of prayers, my worries, loved ones, hopes and dreams! He looks at me and says, “Come forth!”…and I feel a surge of faith, dreams awakening, worries resting, and hopes breathing again.

“Lord God almighty! You are faithful! You are all powerful, all good, all knowing…and You love me! You know me! All the time, in every thing, You know me. Thank you that You care about my hopes and dreams. Call forth the things that have died in me and let the reality that Jesus stands with me help me to believe and watch for Your glory! Amen.”

How about you?

Do you have hopes, dreams, prayers, and weathered faith left for dead in a tomb?

How might you pray if Jesus were standing next to you? How might you ask Him to pray for you?

Do you want to see the glory of God? Do you need help to believe?

Pray. Ask God to call forth life!

Worship

Throwing Stones

January 11, 2014Character/Virtues, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

John 8:1-11
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Have you ever judged anyone? What is it about human nature that wants to stand over others and cry out for justice? Even children seem to have an internal sense of fairness and tattle loudly, so that the world might be made right. Is it part of our human nature to expect that a price must be paid for wrong doing? What glares at me in this story is the complete lack of love with which this woman is thrown before Jesus and the people gathered to hear him teach. It is clear that her accusers aren’t interested in justice as much as they are in setting a trap for Jesus. She is not a person in need of mercy OR justice, simply a pawn to further their schemes. Is that what happens when we are quick to judge, when our motives or fears become a log that blinds us and cuts off love?

I wonder what Jesus was thinking as he wrote in the sand? I know he saw her! Jesus always sees us! I know he hated that her shame was dragged out and hung in full view of the people! Did he kneel down and write as a way of helping the crowd slow down and see the woman? Did he want it to sink in that they, after all, were not so different than she? I wonder what the woman was thinking? She was caught in the act! She knows how this works! I imagine her looking down in shame unable to meet the eyes of her accusers, bracing for the first stone. Instead, crouched in Jesus’ shadow, she hears him invite the one without sin to throw first, but rather than receiving blows of judgment, she hears rocks falling to the ground and feet shuffling away!

Can you imagine her first glimpse of grace as she looks up at Jesus and hears him say, “Where are your accusers? Does no one condemn you? Neither do I condemn you.” We are people in need of mercy, and yet, are terribly prone to judge each other harshly. It’s not that discerning right from wrong is a bad thing. On the contrary, it is a necessary thing if we are to grow in godliness. We do harm when we stop seeing people and just see their acts, when we forget that we are not so different from those we condemn, and when we mistakenly believe we are in any position to throw stones. The only One in that position did not pick up a rock. Nor did Jesus set the woman free without exhorting her to leave her life of sin. We tend to do one or the other…we either forgive and condone sin or judge and condemn it. The truth is, what we need is mercy AND justice and, it is only crouched in the shadow of the cross that…remarkably, thankfully, undeservedly…we find both!

“Lord, I confess that I, too, judge others harshly. I ask for grace to fill my heart and your help to love people and forgive acts. I know for certain that I want mercy! I am struck watching Jesus in this story and taught by His love. I want to see people the way You do. Thank you, thank you, thank you..for grace! Amen.”

What about you?

Are you growing in gracing giving rather than stone throwing?

Do you tend to forgive and condone or judge and condemn?

Have you had an encounter with grace?

Trusting in the Dark

By Judy Villanueva

1 Samuel 1:12-18
Hannah was praying silently; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard; therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine.” But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time.” Then Eli answered, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.” And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your sight.”

It is a mystery as to why some prayers are answered as we hope and others are not. Most often, there is no way of making sense of it. When a heart’s desire is suspended, a desperate prayer unsatisfied or when the thing braced against happens, we are left to travail with questions about God. Is He good? Does He hear? Can He, and if He can, why doesn’t He? We join Job and a great company of brothers and sisters in the faith who have traveled through a dark night on a well-worn path of suffering with no clear answers. It has always both baffled and amazed me that God allows us to wander along these roads of unknowing. How does He tolerate us second-guessing His wisdom, accusing Him of not caring, or thinking Him impotent to act on our behalf? How does He stand it when we cry out in the dark?

I don’t pretend to have answers, only a few morsels of grace that I have gleaned along the path of my own dark night. If you are in the middle of a season of desolation, know that you are not alone. Many Christians have traveled this road and have shared the pain of not having answers and not feeling God. It is an arduous and lonely passage. You might find, like I did, that it is helpful to have someone listen and care that you feel lost, even if they cannot relocate you. One such friend of mine sat with me and listened to my lost thoughts…so unpleasant and raw. After some quiet, she finally said, “Judy, stop striving. God knows where you are and is able to bring you through this dark night and into a place of dawning. Rest. Be at peace.” She didn’t tell me to stop feeling lost and she didn’t offer any answers to my questions, but her reassurance that God knew where I was and could help me find His heart again, planted a seed of hope and light. It felt relieving and helped me begin to let go of my need to understand everything and make room for God to be God.

Inherent in dark nights are invitations to widening spaces where we grow in our capacity to allow God to be Someone we can count on, but cannot control… Someone who loves us perfectly, but does not explain the unfoldings around us.

Dark nights are humbling as they teach us to want God. What I love about Hannah is that she brought her suffering heart to God. She poured out her soul before the Lord…her troubles, sorrows, and disappointments. She didn’t turn her back on God in her despair, but rather, trusted Him with her pain. She stayed in relationship and, by His grace, held onto His love in the middle of the night. How it must bless God to be sought and trusted in the dark. We, too, must bring our honest tears to God, and trust that He listens and cares deeply, even if we cannot feel His presence or understand our circumstances. Can you rest and be at peace knowing that God is able to bring you through the dark night and promises to remain close until the dawn breaks? God knows where you are and is able to help you find your way back to His heart.

“Father, I pray for anyone reading this who may be experiencing a dark night and cannot feel You with them. Let these words reassure that You are, and will always be as close as the breath they breathe. Bring peace and new life. And, may You, the God of Israel, grant the petition they have made to You. Let them find favor in Your sight. Amen.”

How about you?

Have you experienced a season of feeling lost and disappointed with God?

Can you pour out your heart to God in prayer?

Seek a listening friend. Is there a pastor, priest or friend who is available to listen and pray with you?

Worship

“I Will Not Be Shaken” by Tommy Walker

“Praise You in the Storm” by Casting Crowns

Dearly Loved

By Judy Villanueva

Ephesians 5:1-2
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Whenever my little grand daughter leaves the room for a nap, upon her return she makes a joyful announcement, “Hey guys! I’m here!” And, we all clap and say, “Hooray! Livy’s back!!!” Her smile broadens and her eyes light as we cheer her back into our company. What a picture of living loved! What freedom to the soul to wake up each day and enter life assured and convinced that we are indeed wanted and welcomed! How would this awareness impact our thoughts about ourselves, our reactions to others, and the way we enter rooms?

What would happen to the constraints that keep us from loving freely if we believed and held deeply that we are dearly loved children?

So many things interfere with our freedom to love and be loved. We are fragile creatures with fractured hearts and tend to interpret life from the wounds within us. We hold offenses, real and imagined. We live braced for rejection. We compare ourselves with others and either come up wanting or puffed up. Out of our insecurities we become critical or withdrawn, and out of our fears we become judgmental and guarded. We try not to know the truth about our places of need, but the fact is, we leak! When we say an unkind word or withdraw because of an offense…when we criticize and judge, or hold ourselves apart from others because we fear rejection, we realize we are not free to love and, sadly, are not living loved! On a good day, we let ourselves know this and are helped to look up and reach out for the One who can free us…the One who faithfully waits for us to wake up to His presence.

Learning to imitate God as dearly loved children is vital if we are ever to follow Christ into a life that becomes a fragrant offering. But, how do we enter more deeply into the love of God? How do we make it ours in such a way that we begin to leak love? God made us for His love and He desires for us to fully know and feel His love as best we can. As we face Him, walk with Him, listen to His voice and learn to trust Him, our hearts begin to heal.

Our capacity to believe that we are loveable and indeed loved by a great King expands and before we know it, we are living a little more loved than yesterday!

His love heals our wounds, secures our hearts and frees us to feel grace for others, patience, greater acceptance, and growing openness to become a fragrant offering to God. Listen for the sound of the Father’s clapping! Let your smile broaden and your eyes light up as He cheers you into His company where you are wanted, welcomed and…dearly loved.

“Father, I want to live in the reality of Your love! I want to be set free to love and become a fragrant offering. Heal the wounds that interfere with a clear flow of love in and through my heart to others. Help me say the best “yes” to all the ways that You invite me to live loved. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you feel dearly loved?

Are you aware of your “leaks”?

Can you look up and reach out for God with your places of need?

Do you feel free to love others? Pray and ask God to help you believe and feel His love.

Denying Christ

By Judy Villanueva

Simon, Simon behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; And once you have turn again, strengthen your brothers.”

“Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!”

“…the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know me.”

And a servant-girl, seeing him as he sat in the firelight and looking intently at him, said, “This man was with Him too.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know Him.” A little later, another saw him and said, “You are one of them too!” But Peter said, “Man, I am not!” After about an hour had passed, another man began to insist, saying, “Certainly this man also was with Him, for he is a Galilean too.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, “Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Face to face with who we ARE and AREN’T . Peter had boldly declared his allegiance to Jesus even unto death and within hours denies knowing Him! I wonder what he was thinking after the first two denials? Was he unaware or so shaken that Jesus had been arrested that spoke before he thought? Then, the third denial — and the rooster crows — and then the moment when Jesus turns and looks at Peter! Some pretty gruesome things awaited Him and yet, He turns away from his own pain and looks directly at Peter. So zealous for Christ that he had climbed out of the boat! So passionate that he declared his undying loyalty to Jesus! Startled by the rooster’s crow, Peter awakens to the echo of his denials and is horrified to remember Jesus’ earlier warning. Don’t you wonder what Peter saw as he looked back at Jesus over the crowd, through the denials? What did he see in the eyes of his Savior?

I can only imagine that he saw the love of his dearest friend! Did he see eyes that conveyed sadness, a heavy heart that suffers when we fall? Did he perceive Christ’s love that would remain true in the face of personal failure?

In that moment, did Peter understand a commitment so deep and strong that he was literally upheld and held together by a look?

Jesus knew. He knew Peter and He knew Peter would fail, but when the moment came there were no “I told you so’s” just a movement and a look that both corrected and affirmed Peter. Peter wept bitterly as regret and shame surrounded him, but Jesus had a plan.

Beyond our transgressions, God always has a plan!

And me? I am Peter. Every time I do not stand with Jesus in my thoughts, words or actions, I deny Him. I say I’ll love him unto death but when life gets hard and fear presses in, I react as though He is not faithful or worse, does not exist. That is the biggest denial—-to live as though Jesus is NOT. Nevertheless, He remains faithful. He remembers we are dust, foresees that we’ll stumble and prays for us. He looks at us and His eyes tell us we are held! He is and He is faithful! And, I am and always will be His child, loved and forgiven.

“Lord, may I look at my brothers and sisters the way You look at me. Not with judgment or impatience, but with love. Your love that forgives, understands and gives strength. Thank You for seeing around all the corners of my life and for praying that my faith will stay strong. Thank You for planning beyond my failures and making a way through shame to Your heart of love. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you ever falter in your faith?

Can you see Jesus turn and look at you? Can you receive the love in His eyes?

What does this passage stir in you? What do you need from Jesus?

God has planned magnificently beyond any transgression. He loves you and wants you to see His eyes of love.

Worship

He Calls Me Friend

December 7, 2013Knowing God, Spiritual Formation, Worshipheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

“The whole of mankind might be changed if we could all believe that we dwell under a friendly sky and that the God of heaven, though exalted in power and majesty, is eager to be friends with us.” (AW Tozer, Knowledge of the Holy, p.129)

The God of heaven is eager to be friends with me? I was reading along, soaking up Tozer’s words inviting me to understand the goodness of God, and all of a sudden I happened upon this sentence. I paused…and read it over and over. “The God of heaven is eager to be friends with me.” Yet, again my image of God is confronted! I realized, as I sat there and let this thought sit next to me, that I don’t think of God in this way…as eager to be my friend. It sounds so…so…friendly! The idea that we dwell under a friendly sky is as happy as it is consoling at this time in my life when I am far away from my closest friends. Days can feel lonely and making new friends takes time…a little more than I expected. What comfort Jesus’ invitation to friendship gives to all of us who need a friend! I am accustomed to relating to God as Father, Jesus as Son and Savior, the Spirit as Counselor and companion but, what does a friendship with God look like?

As I sit by the fire working to wrap my mind around the notion of a friendship with God Almighty (!), the phone rings. “Hi, sweetie!” It’s one of my favorite voices… and it belongs to my mom! I love the sound of her “hello,” the warmth I feel in her voice and the picture of her that comes to my mind as I listen to her telling me about her and dad’s latest excursion to the Italian Club. I find myself smiling and become aware of the love between us, and the little bits of life being shared across the miles. It occurs to me that God just might be helping me understand His eager heart to be my friend as I enjoy my mother’s company on the phone. It’s not strenuous or complicated…just a gift, a moment, a relationship I need only welcome and receive. I’m starting to get the picture! In a very real way, God is always calling. He offers His love and friendship all hours of the day and through the night. He loves His children profoundly and eagerly waits for opportunities to share bits of life with us! We need only to allow for the moments…to welcome and receive His friendship. I want to be God’s friend and I want to experience His eagerness to be mine! Don’t you?

“Help me, dear and eager Friend, to discover your goodness around me and to know you not only as Father, God, and Savior, but also, as my dearest Friend. Help me to welcome and receive Your friendship and love. Amen.”

How about you?

Do you need a good friend?

Have you ever thought about God as eager to be your friend?

How might you welcome and receive His friendship today?

If friendship with God seems hard to imagine, pray and ask God to help you discover His love and become His friend.

Forsaken

December 4, 2013Knowing God, Lenten Reflections, Spiritual Formation, Worshipheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

My God, My God, why have You forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)

An incredible question considering it came from the mouth of our Savior. Jesus felt forsaken! Imagine this moment…Jesus had always enjoyed God’s presence throughout His life and ministry. In fact, He had for all of eternity. But, at this moment, hanging on the cross in pain…torn from His Father, bearing the weight of sin on His back, and facing the darkest night imaginable, His soul bellows for God with a “What’s going on?” “Where are You?” cry! Left. Alone. Abandoned. Jesus actually asks “Why?” He knows why, right? But, in the hour of truly being forsaken, His heart is pierced with a devastating sorrow and He cries out for comfort…for His Father! To be sure, the pain of the cross was physical torture…but, I wonder if the worst of our Savior’s nightmare was when His Father turned His face away!

Jesus identifies with those times when life gets so painful that we cannot see or feel God near. He understands. And, when we cannot see through our suffering and circumstances to God, Jesus keeps seeing for us! He knows how it feels to be so engulfed in suffering and sorrow that nothing much makes sense. He knows how it is to feel forsaken. For Jesus, however, it was a devastation like we’ll never have to know because in that moment when all sin was laid on Him, Justice demanded that God turn away and separate from His beloved Son…the Son with whom He’d shared intimate and joyous communion since before the beginning of time! For our sake! The Father and the Son endured the ripping apart of their union so that we would never have to be…forsaken!

The beauty of Love’s sacrifice for my sake brings me to tears…to my knees in gratitude and wonder. And yet, there are days when I take for granted this gift of Love. Days that are tiresome or painful or sad or just plain busy when I forget that God so loved me that He gave His only Son. I don’t want to forget…not for one moment! I am grateful to Jesus for enduring the cross and staying until His work was finished…I am grateful to the Father for allowing His heart to be broken for me…and, I am grateful to tears that no matter what I’m going through or what I have done, God will never turn His face away from me. He will never abandon me…He made sure He’d never have to!

“Words cannot say thank you sufficiently! Your Love poured out on the cross baffles me to the core…so great and powerful a Love! Thank you for being forsaken for my sake…for loving me unto death. Help me to honor you with my life and never take for granted the gift You’ve given me. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you ever feel forsaken?

When you feel lost, do you forget that God is always near?

Can you receive the good news that God will never leave nor forsake you?

Jesus gave His life for you. He loves you. He always has a plan. Spend time remembering His love today.

Pleasing the King

November 30, 2013Knowing God, Lenten Reflections, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

Luke 23:8-11
When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been waiting to see Him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform some miracle. He plied Him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer…Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked Him…”

Why didn’t Jesus answer Herod? From all accounts, Herod was pleased to see Jesus and He probably could have won His freedom if He had spoken to Herod or at least placated him with a miracle or two. There was nothing to pin on Jesus, so all He had to do was kiss up a little, schmooze the king…make a friend in a high place and get out of jail free. Right? Why did Jesus stay silent and risk ticking off the king? Was it, as it so often is, about more than people pleasing or getting out of jail? Was Jesus looking through the king to a heart and beyond a request to a Face…His Father’s?

Herod wanted to be entertained. He had heard of Jesus and wanted to see for himself what this miracle worker could do! Instead, like a pet that won’t perform on command, Jesus refused to entertain the king and the king was not pleased! How dare Jesus not satisfy his appetite! Herod’s pride was surely wounded because, after all, he was the king and was accustomed to having his every wish accommodated. But Jesus wasn’t there to tickle or entertain. He had only one thing on His mind…the one thing always on His mind…to do the will of His Father. His silence was not only a response to a hardened heart, but most assuredly an act of obedience.

And me? How often do I summon Jesus to accommodate my wishes rather than to enjoy His company? How do I react when Jesus doesn’t meet my expectations…when He disappoints me or doesn’t act the way I want? I wish I could say that I always trust his heart and rely on His wisdom more than anything, but the truth is that, like Herod, I often become disgruntled and disappointed. No, I don’t curse Him or shout insults at Him, but I do ever so subtly call Him a false king every time I doubt His wisdom, faithfulness and good plans for my life.

“Forgive me, Jesus, for not honoring You as the wise King that you always are…for not Trusting You when I am afraid…for denying Your love and wisdom when I am disappointed or don’t understand outcomes. Help me to remain devoted to You no matter what and to trust more deeply in your faithful love. Amen.”

What about You?

Do you ever find yourself wanting things from Jesus more than wanting Jesus?

How do you respond when it feels like Jesus is not answering?

God is patient. Ask to know Him more and better…to want to want Him most of all!

Water Walking

November 23, 2013Character/Virtues, Knowing God, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

Matthew 14:25-29

“During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come.” He said.

As I imagine myself on the Sea of Galilee as this familiar story unfolds, the first thing I can identify with is the terror that these young men feel at seeing a figure coming toward them during the fourth watch of night. It had to be a ghost! What else could explain what they were seeing? Then, a Voice calls to them from the center of their fear…One they recognize…One that has been with them as a friend and teacher. “Take Courage! It is I. Don’t’ be afraid.” What would it be like to hear Jesus say these words in the midst of whatever has frightened or disturbed your soul? I find myself reading and re-reading the sentence, taking it in for myself…for today…for my life, here and now.

I don’t feel ready, but I continue to read and find myself captivated by Peter’s reply to Jesus, “Lord, if it is you tell me to come to you on the water.” What? Peter didn’t just want to be with Jesus, he wanted to be with Him on the water! I love it! In short order, Jesus would have joined Peter and the disciples on the boat but Peter wants more! He wants Jesus AND he’s willing to step into the impossible made possible to get there! Can you even imagine what Peter was thinking and feeling? It boggles my mind and calls to my spirit with a grand invitation to want ALL that Jesus has for me… to any and all water-walking moments!

Seeing Jesus defy the laws of nature filled Peter with the gumption for an audacious ask! And, “Come” was all he needed to hear in order to get out of the boat and put his feet ON the water!! I know that Peter sinks…but before he sank, he walked on water! I want to be with Jesus, too. I want to let His water-walking life inspire moments where I, too, say “If it’s you, tell me to come” no matter how frightening or impossible the first steps might seem. I want to hear His voice of love and authority sweep me up and out of my fears and place my wobbly feet on the water beside His!

“All of you, Lord! All of you. Let me hear your voice of love calling to me from the midst of my worries with a command to take courage! If it’s Your voice declaring, “It is I. Do not be afraid” I will not be afraid! If it’s You, Lord, make a way on the waters and tell me to come! Amen.”

What about you

Where do you need to hear Jesus say, “Take courage. It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ?

What does this passage stir in you?

What is in your heart to ask of Jesus?

Do you need to hear Jesus say “Come” today?

ListeningForLove

Learning to Hear God's Voice

Category Archives: Spiritual Formation

Holding Offenses

Raising the Dead

Throwing Stones

Trusting in the Dark

Dearly Loved

Denying Christ

He Calls Me Friend

Forsaken

Pleasing the King

Water Walking