Category Archives: Lenten Reflections

Gethsemane

DSC_0388By Judy Villanueva

Matthew 26:26-36    

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

It was dusk and the desert landscape was quickly changing from shadows to black night as we drove east toward the Colorado River.  I was only twelve years old and had been invited to join a friend’s family on their spring break.  In the light of day it seemed like an exciting opportunity,  but as the sky darkened I held back tears and longed to be home with my family.   When I read this passage and imagine Jesus in the garden, I am dumbstruck at what He must have felt lying on His face, overwhelmed  to the point of death.  I’d always thought that it was the anticipation of the cross that was the cause of His troubled heart, but I have come to believe that what Jesus smelled in the garden was far worse.  I think it must have been the impending loss of home that stole His peace.  Never, for even a millisecond, had He known existence apart from His beloved Father.  They had forever shared a perfect, blessed, loving community of three… but a time was drawing near when Jesus would experience being torn from His Father.

It strikes me that this scene is the only one I can think of where Jesus is troubled and, literally, doubled over with sorrow.  Can you picture our Lord with His face to the ground?   Try.  It isn’t how we are use to seeing Him,  but there in the garden beneath the Mount of Olives, He bends over with a desperate plea!  “Father, take this cup.”

He faces off with a moment of truth…a beautiful, terrorizing, extravagant, horrifying and holy moment!

Imprisonment, false accusations, a thorny crown, beatings, nails, a spear, mocking, humiliation, scorn and the full weight of man’s sin await Him.  THEN, the loss of His most precious treasure, the Love that had been His smile since forever…His Abba, His Dad would turn away!

“Your will, not mine.”  Alone in the garden, with his friends fast asleep, Jesus prays three times that this cup should pass and, each time, submits to His Father’s will.  Finally, He wakes up His friends with what looks like refreshed strength and determination, “Rise!  Let us go!”  He is no longer bent over in sorrow with His face to the ground.  No.  Jesus has been with the Father, accepted His will and now moves with faith and hope to the cross!  He knows what is coming but we don’t see Him hesitate anymore.  I wonder what THEY talked about in the garden.   Was it us they talked about?

Did their Love inspire a gift so great that the Godhead re-uped for being ripped a part in order to carry us home… so that They might become our warm and loving family for all eternity?

Oh beautiful love of God!

“I can’t even fathom this kind of Love, Lord!  I am grateful!  Help me, Jesus, to pray with a submitted heart…to ask for what I want, but trust in what You will!  Thank You for making a way for me to come home someday and share forever with You.  Amen.”

What about you?

Are you in a garden of Gethsemane?  Are you struggling with God in prayer over something He is asking of you?

Is there a cup you would like to pass?

Where are you in terms of the crucifixion of your will?  Are you able to say, “Your will, not mine”?

Have you received this gift of love, Christ’s death on the cross, that delivers us from sin?

Can you trust in the Father’s love to deliver you home safe and sound?

Worship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMX9CNgRJCM

 

Dusty Thoughts

DSC_0455By Judy Villanueva 

Psalm 51:17    The sacrifice of God is a broken spirit:  a broken and contrite heart you will not despise.

Psalm 103:14    As a father has compassion on his children, 
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;  for he knows how we are formed,
 he remembers that we are dust.

As I sat down in the pew I could feel a deep sigh coming over me.  My mind had been occupied with many things and it felt good to sit in a quiet sanctuary and slow down.  I have many memories of Ash Wednesday services growing up, including the post-smudge contest where ashen forehead crosses were compared, the darkest ones the envy of all.  It still makes me smile!  Today, as I listened to the Word invite me to a broken and contrite heart, I felt the Holy Spirit moving through the room with light and grace.  I became conscious of my dusty origins and aware that part of my preparation for the risen Christ involves taking inventory of my heart…and the secrets it likes to keep hidden from me.

What does it mean to remember that we are dust?  It feels strangely relieving to not have to be perfect, to freely know that I am who I am…even if who I am struggles every day with pride, fear and a lack of faith.

It’s hard work to keep from knowing my failings but I suspect that it is in the knowing that my heart becomes contrite and freed to need Jesus.

Living conscious of God’s love gives me the courage to let go of my pride and acknowledge my sin.  It makes me wonder if at the center of humility, where God is God and we are dust, our souls find a place to rest.

Aren’t you grateful that God remembers we are dust and is not thrown off course by our failures and fickle faith?  Even when we cannot bear to know the dusty truth about ourselves, He always knows us as we are…and loves us.

Here is the amazing Grace our hearts long for, the Light that draws us out of our fears and the Power that beckons us to come!

There is no sweeter place of belonging, no kinder companion when looking into our hearts…and no One else who knows just how to form our dusty lives into beautiful and fragrant offerings.

“Father, thank you for knowing me as I am and loving me anyways!  Give me the courage and humility to know the parts of my heart that need your love and grace.   Help me to remember that I am dust and need You every, every day.   Amen.”

What about you? 

Do you know that God loves you?

What does it mean to remember you are dust?

Are you willing to sit with God and let Him show you the hidden places of your heart?

Are you free to need Jesus?

Take time with God to know your heart.  Let His grace lead you to proper sorrow and to His love that covers and frees.

Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> TLRW-TTZB-0PTM-T0A7

Worship

Denying Christ

DSC_0966
By Judy Villanueva

Simon, Simon behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; And once you have turn again, strengthen your brothers.”

“Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!”

“…the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know me.”

And a servant-girl, seeing him as he sat in the firelight and looking intently at him, said, “This man was with Him too.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know Him.” A little later, another saw him and said, “You are one of them too!” But Peter said, “Man, I am not!” After about an hour had passed, another man began to insist, saying, “Certainly this man also was with Him, for he is a Galilean too.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” Immediately, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, “Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Face to face with who we ARE and AREN’T . Peter had boldly declared his allegiance to Jesus even unto death and within hours denies knowing Him!  I wonder what he was thinking after the first two denials?  Was he unaware or so shaken that Jesus had been arrested that spoke before he thought?  Then, the third denial — and the rooster crows — and then the moment when Jesus turns and looks at Peter!  Some pretty gruesome things awaited Him and yet, He turns away from his own pain and looks directly at Peter.  So zealous for Christ that he had climbed out of the boat!  So passionate that he declared his undying loyalty to Jesus!  Startled by the rooster’s crow, Peter awakens to the echo of his denials and is horrified to remember Jesus’ earlier warning.  Don’t you wonder what Peter saw as he looked back at Jesus over the crowd, through the denials?   What did he see in the eyes of his Savior?

I can only imagine that he saw the love of his dearest friend!  Did he see eyes that conveyed sadness, a heavy heart that suffers when we fall?  Did he perceive Christ’s love that would remain true in the face of personal failure?

In that moment, did Peter understand a commitment so deep and strong that he was literally upheld and held together by a look?

Jesus knew. He knew Peter and He knew Peter would fail, but when the moment came there were no “I told you so’s” just a movement and a look that both corrected and affirmed Peter.  Peter wept bitterly as regret and shame surrounded him, but Jesus had a plan.

Beyond our transgressions, God always has a plan!

And me? I am Peter. Every time I do not stand with Jesus in my thoughts, words or actions, I deny Him. I say I’ll love him unto death but when life gets hard and fear presses in, I react as though He is not faithful or worse, does not exist. That is the biggest denial—-to live as though Jesus is NOT.  Nevertheless, He remains faithful.  He remembers we are dust, foresees that we’ll stumble and prays for us.  He looks at us and His eyes tell us we are held!  He is and He is faithful!  And, I am and always will be His child, loved and forgiven.

“Lord, may I look at my brothers and sisters the way You look at me. Not with judgment or impatience, but with love. Your love that forgives, understands and gives strength. Thank You for seeing around all the corners of my life and for praying that my faith will stay strong. Thank You for planning beyond my failures and making a way through shame to Your heart of love. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you ever falter in your faith?

Can you see Jesus turn and look at you? Can you receive the love in His eyes?

What does this passage stir in you? What do you need from Jesus?

God has planned magnificently beyond any transgression. He loves you and wants you to see His eyes of love.

Worship

 

Forsaken

Knowing God, Lenten Reflections, Spiritual Formation, Worship

IMG_1340By Judy Villanueva

My God, My God, why have You forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)

An incredible question considering it came from the mouth of our Savior. Jesus felt forsaken! Imagine this moment…Jesus had always enjoyed God’s presence throughout His life and ministry. In fact, He had for all of eternity. But, at this moment, hanging on the cross in pain…torn from His Father, bearing the weight of sin on His back, and facing the darkest night imaginable, His soul bellows for God with a “What’s going on?” “Where are You?” cry! Left. Alone. Abandoned. Jesus actually asks “Why?” He knows why, right? But, in the hour of truly being forsaken, His heart is pierced with a devastating sorrow and He cries out for comfort…for His Father! To be sure, the pain of the cross was physical torture…but, I wonder if the worst of our Savior’s nightmare was when His Father turned His face away!

Jesus identifies with those times when life gets so painful that we cannot see or feel God near. He understands.  And, when we cannot see through our suffering and circumstances to God, Jesus keeps seeing for us! He knows how it feels to be so engulfed in suffering and sorrow that nothing much makes sense. He knows how it is to feel forsaken. For Jesus, however, it was a devastation like we’ll never have to know because in that moment when all sin was laid on Him, Justice demanded that God turn away and separate from His beloved Son…the Son with whom He’d shared intimate and joyous communion since before the beginning of time! For our sake! The Father and the Son endured the ripping apart of their union so that we would never have to be…forsaken!

The beauty of Love’s sacrifice for my sake brings me to tears…to my knees in gratitude and wonder. And yet, there are days when I take for granted this gift of Love. Days that are tiresome or painful or sad or just plain busy when I forget that God so loved me that He gave His only Son. I don’t want to forget…not for one moment! I am grateful to Jesus for enduring the cross and staying until His work was finished…I am grateful to the Father for allowing His heart to be broken for me…and, I am grateful to tears that no matter what I’m going through or what I have done, God will never turn His face away from me. He will never abandon me…He made sure He’d never have to!

“Words cannot say thank you sufficiently! Your Love poured out on the cross baffles me to the core…so great and powerful a Love! Thank you for being forsaken for my sake…for loving me unto death. Help me to honor you with my life and never take for granted the gift You’ve given me. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you ever feel forsaken?

When you feel lost, do you forget that God is always near?

Can you receive the good news that God will never leave nor forsake you?

Jesus gave His life for you. He loves you. He always has a plan. Spend time remembering His love today.

Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected<br /><br /><br /><br /> FEHG-MDTK-XJWW-HU5J

Pleasing the King

Knowing God, Lenten Reflections, Spiritual Formation

IMG_0043By Judy Villanueva

Luke 23:8-11
When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been waiting to see Him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform some miracle. He plied Him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer…Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked Him…”

Why didn’t Jesus answer Herod? From all accounts, Herod was pleased to see Jesus and He probably could have won His freedom if He had spoken to Herod or at least placated him with a miracle or two. There was nothing to pin on Jesus, so all He had to do was kiss up a little, schmooze the king…make a friend in a high place and get out of jail free. Right? Why did Jesus stay silent and risk ticking off the king? Was it, as it so often is, about more than people pleasing or getting out of jail? Was Jesus looking through the king to a heart and beyond a request to a Face…His Father’s?

Herod wanted to be entertained. He had heard of Jesus and wanted to see for himself what this miracle worker could do! Instead, like a pet that won’t perform on command, Jesus refused to entertain the king and the king was not pleased! How dare Jesus not satisfy his appetite! Herod’s pride was surely wounded because, after all, he was the king and was accustomed to having his every wish accommodated. But Jesus wasn’t there to tickle or entertain. He had only one thing on His mind…the one thing always on His mind…to do the will of His Father. His silence was not only a response to a hardened heart, but most assuredly an act of obedience.

And me? How often do I summon Jesus to accommodate my wishes rather than to enjoy His company? How do I react when Jesus doesn’t meet my expectations…when He disappoints me or doesn’t act the way I want? I wish I could say that I always trust his heart and rely on His wisdom more than anything, but the truth is that, like Herod, I often become disgruntled and disappointed. No, I don’t curse Him or shout insults at Him, but I do ever so subtly call Him a false king every time I doubt His wisdom, faithfulness and good plans for my life.

“Forgive me, Jesus, for not honoring You as the wise King that you always are…for not Trusting You when I am afraid…for denying Your love and wisdom when I am disappointed or don’t understand outcomes. Help me to remain devoted to You no matter what and to trust more deeply in your faithful love. Amen.”

What about You?

Do you ever find yourself wanting things from Jesus more than wanting Jesus?

How do you respond when it feels like Jesus is not answering?

God is patient. Ask to know Him more and better…to want to want Him most of all!

Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected<br /><br /> PD0T-BVHO-BHZN-EFFC