Category Archives: Character/Virtues

Folding Socks

By Judy Villanueva

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. (Psalm 42:1)

God, you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you. (St.Augustine of Hippo)

Surrounded by of pile of socks, I hunt for two brown ones with stripes, matching grey argyles, and strain to decipher the subtle differences in the solid blues! I suddenly feel a familiar pang that I recognize as my soul becoming restless. Existential angst. Does my existence have meaning? Does folding socks matter to God or is there something more important that I should be doing? It alerts me to beware of what I think, pray and do next. I’ve been here before and am learning that when my soul feels restless it wants to be fed (or medicated). Feed it with a cookie, a trip to the mall, a tv show, a glass of wine or with frenetic doing that will offer distraction. Instead, I decide to pray and bring my soul to Jesus.

My husband and I have been reading a book called “Soul Keeping” by John Ortberg and the last pages invite the reader to the deathbed of a remarkable man, Dallas Willard. Reading out loud, we find ourselves overhearing the last words he whispered to God, “Thank you. Thank you.” My brow furrows as I consider the implications of these words uttered in the midst of great suffering. I feel curious to know more about him and hungry to learn how to live so that when I breathe my final breath, my soul will exhale in gratitude. Dallas lived a life that cultivated a contented and grateful soul and when pressed hard, what flowed from the depths of him was gratefulness.

There is something about the finality of death that is focusing. It seems to clear the clutter that gets in the way of living well. At death, all chances to be kind end. Any and all opportunities to love are over. At life’s end, grudges feel ridiculous and time, too precious to waste on petty complaints.

In the clarity of death’s wake, worry about mattering yields to loving and being loved by God.

It invites a vision of generosity, grace and energy to bless others while there is time. It is a reminder that a life lived well is fed and formed by God, and that last breaths are exhaled from whatever has been shaped over a lifetime. Learning to love and be loved by God infuses all of life with meaning…it quiets the soul, plants seeds of gratitude and makes, even folding socks, yet another moment of His grace.

“Father, help me to find meaning in Your arms and let it calm and fuel my soul for blessing others. Help me to cultivate gratefulness and care for my soul so that in each day of my life I might give you glory, and upon my death, give thanks. Amen.”

What about you?

Do you ever struggle with restlessness of soul?

What do you tend to feed your soul to calm it? Food, tv, shopping, or something else?

Have you discovered that meaning comes from being loved by God? Have you felt the rest that happens in Him alone?

What do you think cultivating contentment and gratitude looks like?

Spend time with God. It will feed and bless your soul.

Worship

Justice

May 9, 2014Character/Virtues, Knowing God, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

Jonah 3:10-4:4

When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”

Aren’t you glad that judgment is in the hands of God…and not ours? If it had been up to Jonah, Nineveh would have gotten what it deserved and paid for its sins with death. He, personally, would rather have died than see this city receive grace. Justice. We are each born with a sense of it and naturally lean toward evening up scores, paying debts owed, and making sure evil is not rewarded. We feel better when justice is served! Right? Then, there is our just God who always seems ready to believe for the good in us…to be touched when we are sorry and turn toward Him…and, whose love keeps reaching for us with grace and second chances.

Have you ever thought about the heart of God? I read passages like this one and marvel! It is a glimpse into breath-taking glory! Time after time, God’s creation defies Him and goes its own way. Time after time, God creates magnificent scenarios to entice and rescue His beloved from their propensity to run away from His presence, jump out of boats, and get swallowed by large fish. It is almost amusing to “hear” Jonah scold God for being gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love! “Oh I just knew you would relent from sending calamity.” Amazing Grace. Glorious and heart-stopping Love! It convinces me afresh that God’s commitment to His creation is tenacious, unrelenting and more patient than we can fathom.

Sitting in the stench and slime of a whale’s belly gave Jonah the needed pause to reconsider God’s request to preach salvation to the Ninevites! Coughed up on the shore, he finally obeys, and God’s offer of grace is accepted by the people. But, Jonah is angry that God’s plan has worked! “Is it right for you to be angry?” God asks. A question designed to prompt Jonah to reflect, repent, and reorient. Had he gotten too big for his britches, thinking he knew better than God? Jonah’s story makes me all too aware of my own tendency to seek justice over mercy. I can feel God’s question offering a needed correction. In contrast, God’s patience and generosity with both Jonah and Nineveh invites me in close for a look at His beautiful heart. There is power in reflecting on God’s heart! Each peek is transformative, each glimpse giving new vision…each drip helping my heart to feel the beat of His, oh so amazing, Grace!

“Lord, I wish I could say that I cannot relate to Jonah. Help me remember that You are God and I am not! I want to be humble and pliable…ready to obey You. Touch my heart, Lord, and enlarge my capacity to love others more like You. Amen.”

What about you?

Is there a “whale belly” in your life that might be a pause, meant to help you obey something that God has asked of you?

Do you seek justice or mercy for others? Are you bothered when someone gets a second chance?

How are your britches fitting lately? Do you need to take time to reflect, repent and reorient?

Mercy, Lord. We pray for Your touch that creates Divine capacity to obey, forgive and seek mercy for ourselves AND others.

Worship

Like a Spring Rain, by Colporteur

Windows

By Judy Villanueva

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding; In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

I love it when God says “Yes!” What’s not to love? I understand “yes”. “Yes” feels good! “Yes” feels right! Right? There is something about “You got the job!” “Will you marry me?” “You win!” that affirms that we are loved and that Someone good is watching over our lives. “Yes” is like a spring rain or a summer breeze that wraps around us with happy! It usually makes us smile, relieves our hearts, and makes us want to dance! I love it when God says “Yes!”

I’m guessing you know where this is going? There are other times when it can feel like God isn’t listening or doesn’t care because doors close, we don’t win, and someone else gets the job. We pray for God’s will and offer to submit to a “No.” And, we mean it…sort of…or at least until the answer is actually “No.” Then, it’s easy to get lost. Disappointment is tricky and tends to throw everything up for grabs. Is God in control? Why did this or that happen? Did I hear wrong? What can I now expect going forward?

It is at these times that a window opens, a particular moment when God invites us to trust Him with our whole hearts. It is here and now that faith is exercised. Can we accept the “no,” and will we place our hearts in His care?

Acceptance and trust are things we do on our knees and often, on our faces.

Surrender. Breathing in rug-dust, placing our hearts before the King, we ask for mercy, strength to trust and a sense of His love to hold us and help us go forward. He is here. He is good. He waits at the window to be our spring rain, our summer breeze…our supreme and beautiful happy.

“Lord, how I need you to move in close when a “no” has pushed me over. On my face, I come to You and surrender with my whole heart. Help me today not to lean on what I think I know, but to come to You for comfort and strength to trust. Amen.”

What about you?

Have you experienced a disappointing “No” in life?

Do you need God’s help with acceptance and trust?

What would it be like to trust God with all of your heart?

God is faithful. He loves you and watches over your life.

Holding Offenses

By Judy Villanueva

Colossians 3:13
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Staring at the floor after a long and heated conversation, my husband and I finally agreed on a compromise. We saw a matter very differently but thankfully were able to reach a solution that we each could live with that is, until my back was turned! That’s when he couldn’t help himself and executed a NOT agreed on solution! Errrggh! I would venture to guess that most of the time it’s not the actual offense that mushrooms into a bitter mess, but what happens in the aftermath that tangles up our hearts. My husband sort of apologized and I knew for sure he was sorry that I was upset, but I wasn’t convinced he was sorry for his actions. I confess that what I really wanted was groveling and utter sorrow, but instead I bought a log rocking chair–and it helped!

Nursing grudges. Holding offenses. Keeping a list of wrongs. Why do we feel we are owed a debt when we’ve been wronged or offended? Think about it. When someone doesn’t return a phone call, betrays a confidence, or is careless with our feelings there seems to be an internal tally that accounts for who owes who what. The greater the offense, the greater the debt!

The flesh knows well that it owns these transgressions and, unless there is an exchange made that cancels the debt the offense lives to grow and fester.

The exchange might involve accepting an apology, making retribution (as in the case of the log rocker), or some other kind of not-so-pretty payback. Beware, however, because the flesh is an untrustworthy bookkeeper at war with the things of the Spirit! The numbers may balance, but it will cost you! We must ask ourselves what we want more, evening the score or freedom?

There is only one place to find peace from the offenses we hold, only one exchange that truly sets us free and that is at the foot of the cross! Unless we look up and witness afresh the face of Divine Love dying for us, we fall prey to the notion that we lose something when we forgive. Placing ourselves in daily proximity to Christ on the cross, stretching out our hands to receive His love, and recollecting the outpouring of grace that freed us from our own great debt of sin works to soften and open our hearts to free others.

In the presence of great Love a deposit is received that expands our capacity to relinquish ownership of offenses and exacting of accounts!

As we sit in the lap of Grace, we discover that there is no payback or exchange that compares to belonging to God! His grace is enough.

“Father, keep drawing me to the cross so that I can keep remembering what Your Love did for me. Help me to stand in the flow of Your grace and receive what I don’t deserve. Let Your deposits of love empower my heart to let go of offenses and forgive. Thank You for the cross that freed me! Amen.”

What about you?

Are you holding an offense against anyone?

Do you find it consuming your thoughts and diminishing your joy?

Which do you want more? Evening the score or freedom?

Stand at the foot of cross and look at the lengths God went to free us from our sin. Let it wash over you an fill you with grace for others.

Worship

Throwing Stones

January 11, 2014Character/Virtues, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

John 8:1-11
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Have you ever judged anyone? What is it about human nature that wants to stand over others and cry out for justice? Even children seem to have an internal sense of fairness and tattle loudly, so that the world might be made right. Is it part of our human nature to expect that a price must be paid for wrong doing? What glares at me in this story is the complete lack of love with which this woman is thrown before Jesus and the people gathered to hear him teach. It is clear that her accusers aren’t interested in justice as much as they are in setting a trap for Jesus. She is not a person in need of mercy OR justice, simply a pawn to further their schemes. Is that what happens when we are quick to judge, when our motives or fears become a log that blinds us and cuts off love?

I wonder what Jesus was thinking as he wrote in the sand? I know he saw her! Jesus always sees us! I know he hated that her shame was dragged out and hung in full view of the people! Did he kneel down and write as a way of helping the crowd slow down and see the woman? Did he want it to sink in that they, after all, were not so different than she? I wonder what the woman was thinking? She was caught in the act! She knows how this works! I imagine her looking down in shame unable to meet the eyes of her accusers, bracing for the first stone. Instead, crouched in Jesus’ shadow, she hears him invite the one without sin to throw first, but rather than receiving blows of judgment, she hears rocks falling to the ground and feet shuffling away!

Can you imagine her first glimpse of grace as she looks up at Jesus and hears him say, “Where are your accusers? Does no one condemn you? Neither do I condemn you.” We are people in need of mercy, and yet, are terribly prone to judge each other harshly. It’s not that discerning right from wrong is a bad thing. On the contrary, it is a necessary thing if we are to grow in godliness. We do harm when we stop seeing people and just see their acts, when we forget that we are not so different from those we condemn, and when we mistakenly believe we are in any position to throw stones. The only One in that position did not pick up a rock. Nor did Jesus set the woman free without exhorting her to leave her life of sin. We tend to do one or the other…we either forgive and condone sin or judge and condemn it. The truth is, what we need is mercy AND justice and, it is only crouched in the shadow of the cross that…remarkably, thankfully, undeservedly…we find both!

“Lord, I confess that I, too, judge others harshly. I ask for grace to fill my heart and your help to love people and forgive acts. I know for certain that I want mercy! I am struck watching Jesus in this story and taught by His love. I want to see people the way You do. Thank you, thank you, thank you..for grace! Amen.”

What about you?

Are you growing in gracing giving rather than stone throwing?

Do you tend to forgive and condone or judge and condemn?

Have you had an encounter with grace?

Water Walking

November 23, 2013Character/Virtues, Knowing God, Spiritual Formationheyjudeev5@gmail.com

By Judy Villanueva

Matthew 14:25-29

“During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come.” He said.

As I imagine myself on the Sea of Galilee as this familiar story unfolds, the first thing I can identify with is the terror that these young men feel at seeing a figure coming toward them during the fourth watch of night. It had to be a ghost! What else could explain what they were seeing? Then, a Voice calls to them from the center of their fear…One they recognize…One that has been with them as a friend and teacher. “Take Courage! It is I. Don’t’ be afraid.” What would it be like to hear Jesus say these words in the midst of whatever has frightened or disturbed your soul? I find myself reading and re-reading the sentence, taking it in for myself…for today…for my life, here and now.

I don’t feel ready, but I continue to read and find myself captivated by Peter’s reply to Jesus, “Lord, if it is you tell me to come to you on the water.” What? Peter didn’t just want to be with Jesus, he wanted to be with Him on the water! I love it! In short order, Jesus would have joined Peter and the disciples on the boat but Peter wants more! He wants Jesus AND he’s willing to step into the impossible made possible to get there! Can you even imagine what Peter was thinking and feeling? It boggles my mind and calls to my spirit with a grand invitation to want ALL that Jesus has for me… to any and all water-walking moments!

Seeing Jesus defy the laws of nature filled Peter with the gumption for an audacious ask! And, “Come” was all he needed to hear in order to get out of the boat and put his feet ON the water!! I know that Peter sinks…but before he sank, he walked on water! I want to be with Jesus, too. I want to let His water-walking life inspire moments where I, too, say “If it’s you, tell me to come” no matter how frightening or impossible the first steps might seem. I want to hear His voice of love and authority sweep me up and out of my fears and place my wobbly feet on the water beside His!

“All of you, Lord! All of you. Let me hear your voice of love calling to me from the midst of my worries with a command to take courage! If it’s Your voice declaring, “It is I. Do not be afraid” I will not be afraid! If it’s You, Lord, make a way on the waters and tell me to come! Amen.”

What about you

Where do you need to hear Jesus say, “Take courage. It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ?

What does this passage stir in you?

What is in your heart to ask of Jesus?

Do you need to hear Jesus say “Come” today?

ListeningForLove

Learning to Hear God's Voice

Category Archives: Character/Virtues

Folding Socks

Justice

Windows

Holding Offenses

Throwing Stones

Water Walking