By Judy Villanueva

“Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. ” (C.S. Lewis)

And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit. (2Corinthians 3:18)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about habits, not just the physical kind but, the heart kind as well.  My dismay is not just over how difficult developing good habits are, but how back-breaking extinguishing bad ones can be as well!  Making and breaking habits is hard work! Yet, the whole of our days is comprised of habits, good and bad, big and small… each one adding up to the kind of life we live.  In fact, habits not only govern our physical health, but our moods, energy, and attitudes as well.

However old we are, habits have been formed and are being formed every day, the aggregate of which determines our ability to thrive and be happy.

This tends to make sense to us in terms of physical habits like exercise, eating well, and healthy patterns of living. But, what about the habits of the heart?  The heart has patterns of feeling, thinking and reacting.  Many heart patterns form while in our families of origin and, countless things influence these habits, but none more profoundly than our own daily choices. When you are offended, for example, is your heart-habit to remember your own frailties and forgive? Or, do you hold grudges and lick your wounds? If you’ll notice, there is a heart pattern within you that prompts you to do one thing or another. Maybe you are burdened with the heart-habit of being critical or self-absorbed? Being negative, expecting the worst, losing your temper, or dwelling on sad things can all become heart habits.

It is sobering to consider that every day, we either cooperate with the formation of sour habits or look to God for help to do something different!

Each choice, each thought, each action is soul forming! In other words, like C.S Lewis writes, there is a kind of creature being shaped each day, one that either resembles our Savior more and more or one that doesn’t!

Being with God empowers us to choose beyond our habits and live as new creatures in Christ!  He invites us to spend time with Him, to notice His presence in the day, and to learn from Him.  God is a willing teacher and is ready to touch us with His grace.  The tried and tested Christian practices put us in His good company. Silence, solitude, gratitude, fasting, celebration…the enriching of His Word, prayer of many kinds are all on the menu of ways to engage with our God.  Learning to pay attention to God in the middle of life, whether working or worshipping, is transformative!  Living “awake” and engaged with God creates His heart in us and turns “the central part of ourselves into something a little different from what it was before”…into people who look a little more like Jesus.

“Father, I want to be more like Jesus!  Please draw me into daily awareness that Your Spirit lives within me and lead me into sacred pauses that open my heart and mind to You.  Help me to learn from you as I spend time with You.   Amen.”

What about you?

Have you ever considered that the choices  you make are shaping your soul?

What are the habits of your heart?  Are you aware of what comes most naturally and does it remind you of Jesus?

Is the fruit of the Spirit becoming second nature?  Are love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control flowing from your life?

Are you becoming more like Jesus?

Worship

By Judy Villanueva

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. (2Corinthians 4:7-11)

Chopping vegetables at the kitchen counter, family togetherness percolated throughout the house.  The football game in the living room, little ones running up and down the stairs, and my daughter and I in the kitchen talking over the cutting board.  She said, “I was thinking about family traits lately and in particular, about the stubbornness that runs on both sides of our family.”  “What?” I thought, “MY family? Stubborn?”  I heard very little else she said after that and while I watched her lips move, it dawned on me that God was asking if I’d like a little help to see one of my blind spots. Sheesh! Not really.  But if I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that saying yes to God always changes me for the better, even if it hurts a little — so I opened my eyes and said,  “I want to see.”

Blind-spots.  These “spots”, so to speak, are behaviors, plain to our family and friends but opaque to us.  They are often deeply rooted in our early development with origins that vary from birth order to trauma to temperament and a host of other things that make us, us — both beautiful and broken.  You can be quite certain that these are the areas in need of healing and love along with the skilled pressure of the Potter’s hands.  The problem with being shaped is that often what is needed to soften our rough edges is heat and, let’s face it,  even a refining  fire burns!  Besides, who really  wants to know that they are stubborn or lazy, self-absorbed, negative, blunt or prickly?

No doubt, being willing to know our blind-spots takes courage but it also powerfully positions us to be changed!

That is my great hope when I hear the knock that invites me to open my heart to God’s Light that will reveal my spots, blind and otherwise.  The image of a cracked pot with all-surpassing power bursting from its brokenness gives me a picture of what happens when I bring all of myself to God — when I make peace with who I am (and am not).  Christ in me, spilling through the cracks and beaming from my broken places gives me courage to yield to the Potter who keeps pouring out His life and shaping His image in me.

What a realization that it’s not perfection that I must pursue but a life given and open — attentive, listening, and willing to follow my Savior into the fire that makes me His, broken and beautiful, clay pot.

“Thank you, Father, for holy nudges that alert me to things you want to change in me. Give me courage to know, confess and trust that you are always a good and excellent Potter.  I am  grateful that you know all of me, all the time and are faithful to hold me in the fire while you make me more like Jesus.  Amen.”

What about you?

Can you sense when God is speaking to you?

How do you feel when you become aware of a blind spot?  How do you respond?

What do you think and feel when you see the image of the broken pot filled with light?

(*Thank you Robert S. Mack for helping get this image out of my head and onto paper.  It is my daily prayer.)

Worship  

By Judy Villanueva

For me, to live is Christ. (Philippians 1:21)

With my eyes closed, I soaked in the beauty of the worship ballad being sung over the congregation.  It was a sweet melody that offered an enfolding of love so scrumptious that I felt I could stand under it all day long.  Suddenly, a jarring noise from across the aisle pierced the song and shook me out of my blessed trance.  Feeling my peace disturbed, I glanced over in search of the source of these discordant notes and felt my breath catch as I found it!  There, across the aisle, was the most beautiful face lifted upwards and a little boy singing at the top of his lungs.  With one hand on his walker, he stood and belted out his perfect gift of worship with a smile that I believe lit the heart of God.  I wiped away tears, deeply touched and taught by this pure and holy offering of love.

The experience felt like a sacred moment where God was pointing to purity and saying, “Look!”  I’ve been praying lately about my fickle heart that, in one moment flows with love and, in the next, with self-interest and impatience.   I don’t like that.  It feels jangling and yet, reminds me of my great need for Christ and the fact that, while saved by grace, I am still a “creature in-process” of becoming holy.

The discord in my heart alerts me to the choices I have throughout the day to either turn to the Holy Spirit for help to live well or follow the impulses of my heart.

Without this tension, I’d likely become complacent and  step out of the flow of grace that is meant to wash, refine and carry me into the likeness of Christ.

I want to live, love and worship from a pure heart and truly mean it when I say, “For me, to live is Christ!”  Today, as I prayed for God’s help, I became aware that Jesus had drawn near and was, once again, pointing to something and saying, “Look!”  There was a hush in my soul as I turned my attention to my dearest friend who gently and lovingly drew my eyes to the cross.

There, beneath the echo of love’s purest song, I could feel my heart surrender and all preoccupation give way to joyous gratitude!

Can it be that simple?  In the shadow of the cross my heart is inspired, filled up and set free!  Love’s purest gift made a way once…and once and for all.

“Jesus, thank you for the cross and for belting out your purest gift of love so that I can be set free.  Help me remember that my job is one of receiving this gift and letting it empower me to live well.  Thank you for that little boy who gave me a picture of a heart freed to love!  Amen.”

What about you?

What does “To live is Christ” mean to you?

Do you want what you want?

Can you discern the discordant notes in your soul that are meant to help you feel  your need for Christ?

Have you felt the power of the cross wash over you?

Stand still and look up at your dearest friend…on the cross…pouring out love’s purest gift to set you free.

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Worship