By Judy Villanueva

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was raise a child.  The next  hardest was letting each one go as they grew up and left the nest.  It’s hard to let go… This is the prayer I prayed over my firstborn as she left for college.

Dear Jesus,

I’d like to bring my child to you.

I see me and my daughter walking … no actually I see me struggling to carry her on my back.  She keeps slipping because I’m not strong enough to carry her, but I keep trying.

My back hurts.

I see you there by the river’s edge…so peaceful.  You can see me…us, too.  You have a warm smile on your face and you perceive the difficulty I am having bringing my daughter to you.

Finally, you say to me, “Put her down.”

I want to but I’m not sure…I have been carrying her for so long…she needs me…she’s wounded…I want to help…what will happen if I let go?

Knowing my thoughts you say,  “I am here.  She is mine.  I can heal her wounds.  It’s time for you to let go.  Judy, she needs ME.  Now trust Me…release your daughter.”

I pause and stare at you.  I want to believe You.  I know what You are saying is true and it gives me hope, but I’m afraid.

I let my grown daughter down and I look at her…words cannot convey the mix of emotion.  I love her. I have failed her.  I’m so tired.

“I would like to trust you Lord and I need your forgiveness for where I have failed…been selfish, immature, impatient and ignorant.”

I give my girl a big hug.  I look at her face and tell her to go… “Go to Jesus!”  She smiles at me and turns…she looks back and says, “It’s ok mom…I’ll be ok…I love you.”  Then, she turns and runs to You and Your arms are open wide and she lets You hug her.  You are whispering in her ear and I can see the comfort and relief on her face.

She is safe.

I see her begin to dance by the river and sing from her heart.  She is free in your presence, accepted and loved.

You walk over to me before I go…You hold me and say, “I know, Judy…it’s ok…you are forgiven…I am here…you can trust Me.  I love you.  You can leave her here.  I’ll never leave her.  Thank you for loving her all these years…but remember, she is mine…and you were not meant to carry her forever.  I am faithful, compassionate, kind and powerful beyond your imagination.  I love your daughter…My daughter…with all My heart.  She needs to learn to walk with Me now.  You need to let go and trust Me.”