DSC_0335By Judy Villanueva

“You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.”

So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:19-24)

Driving down the highway in the pre-dawn light, my thoughts returned to a conversation I had with my husband just the evening before.  I sensed the Spirit inviting me to revisit my responses or, to be more accurate, my reactions.  It was one of those times when I was pretty sure a correction was coming and I knew I had a choice to be open or — turn on the radio!  I decided to listen.  I didn’t have to wait long before an old cartoon character filled the screen of my thoughts.  His name is Glum from Gulliver’s Travels and he says things like, “It’ll never work!  We’re doomed!”  In an instant, I recognized the echo of my own voice.  Good grief!  Is that how I sounded to my husband?  Is there a Glum, a naysayer, a doubting Thomas in me that needs to be forgiven and find her way to Jesus?

As I’ve prayed since this particular car ride, it occurs to me that one conversation does not a bad attitude make and it quickly becomes clear that I, like the frog who gets boiled on a low heat, have subtly developed a disposition of unbelief.   Not all at once but, little by little, and one disappointment at a time I have unwittingly become Glum.  It explains a lot like, why I have lacked peace lately and why it has felt difficult to hope.

Not trusting God is hard on the soul!

And, even though it stung, I am grateful for God’s correction because truly — I don’t want to unwittingly become anything.

 I want to live for Christ on purpose and honor Him with my best believing!

That is what He deserves no matter how I might feel on any given day.   I live with a man of strong faith who reminds me of the little boy who digs through a pile of manure convinced that a pony waits to be discovered!  In good times and bad, he holds fast to the truth that God is always working behind the scenes for His glory and our good.  It has been a long week of reflection, confession and listening for God.  And, while I feel refreshed and forgiven, I also feel exhorted that I need to spend time looking at God — in His Word, in silence, in flowers and in music that leads me to worship. I must put myself in front of Jesus!  When I do, I can feel the power of Who He is touch my glum heart and say to my soul, “Everything is possible for the one who believes.  Trust me!”

“Father, increase my faith!  I want to honor you with a believing disposition and trust you with all of my life.  Help me to draw strength from who you are today and always.  Amen.”

What about you?

Is there a Glum in you that needs to be forgiven and led to Jesus?

Are you aware of who you are becoming?

How do you help yourself remember who God is?

What is God saying to you through this passage of Scripture?

Trust God.  I think it pleases Him when we dig for ponies!

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2 thoughts on “Glum

  1. Good for you…you were open to conversation, looked at some truths,
    and are responding with positive thoughts and action.
    How can anyone not remember God?…. Look around you…..

  2. Wow – really good reminder .. the frog in the water is a “killer” example of what’s happening in us.
    Great stuff.

    +, I really loved the 2nd version of “Lord I need you”… wow.


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