By Judy Villanueva
Psalm 51:17 The sacrifice of God is a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart you will not despise.
Psalm 103:14 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
As I sat down in the pew I could feel a deep sigh coming over me. My mind had been occupied with many things and it felt good to sit in a quiet sanctuary and slow down. I have many memories of Ash Wednesday services growing up, including the post-smudge contest where ashen forehead crosses were compared, the darkest ones the envy of all. It still makes me smile! Today, as I listened to the Word invite me to a broken and contrite heart, I felt the Holy Spirit moving through the room with light and grace. I became conscious of my dusty origins and aware that part of my preparation for the risen Christ involves taking inventory of my heart…and the secrets it likes to keep hidden from me.
What does it mean to remember that we are dust? It feels strangely relieving to not have to be perfect, to freely know that I am who I am…even if who I am struggles every day with pride, fear and a lack of faith.
It’s hard work to keep from knowing my failings but I suspect that it is in the knowing that my heart becomes contrite and freed to need Jesus.
Living conscious of God’s love gives me the courage to let go of my pride and acknowledge my sin. It makes me wonder if at the center of humility, where God is God and we are dust, our souls find a place to rest.
Aren’t you grateful that God remembers we are dust and is not thrown off course by our failures and fickle faith? Even when we cannot bear to know the dusty truth about ourselves, He always knows us as we are…and loves us.
Here is the amazing Grace our hearts long for, the Light that draws us out of our fears and the Power that beckons us to come!
There is no sweeter place of belonging, no kinder companion when looking into our hearts…and no One else who knows just how to form our dusty lives into beautiful and fragrant offerings.
“Father, thank you for knowing me as I am and loving me anyways! Give me the courage and humility to know the parts of my heart that need your love and grace. Help me to remember that I am dust and need You every, every day. Amen.”
What about you?
Do you know that God loves you?
What does it mean to remember you are dust?
Are you willing to sit with God and let Him show you the hidden places of your heart?
Are you free to need Jesus?
Take time with God to know your heart. Let His grace lead you to proper sorrow and to His love that covers and frees.
Worship
Your wonderful memories of Ash Wednesday brought to my mind what I wanted
to accomplish during Lent as a child, as a teenager, etc. I wanted to sacrifice, to show Jesus I was worthy , and could walk with Him at this difficult time.
Sometimes I made it, but most of the time I lost it in the third or fourth week. I felt terrible…so weak.
Easter came, Christ had risen, and I felt his love for me…..Your blog reminded
me of this truth…God loves me.
As I get older, my thoughts about returning to dust seem closer, but I believe
God will welcome my soul.
When I heard the words this Ash Wednesday, “You are dust and unto dust you shall return,” I felt suddenly awed. In that moment, I recalled my mother, father, brother, and those I have known and loved who are no longer with me. They in their lives had walked up the aisle each Ash Wednesday and had received the cross on their foreheads and heard those same words spoken over them. For a moment, I felt reunited with them and seemed to feel them saying to me, “It is good to remember, where you came from and where you are ultimately going.” How many centuries of people have gone before me; they were dust and unto dust they all returned. It was a moment of profound perspective for me and it rooted me to something much bigger than words can really describe but which was somehow very comforting.
Every time I read this post, I love it! Why do I love it so much? Because the words “dusty selves” rings true and makes me feel grateful to a God that fashioned me out of dust and yet consecrates this dust and somehow makes it holy.
Your words, Judy, “There is no sweeter place of belonging, no kinder companion when looking into our hearts…and no One else who knows just how to form our dusty lives into beautiful and fragrant offerings” are true!